The sweet and complete life of a swexican!

You know you've been in Sweden too long when...

1. # It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
   
   
2. # You think Leif 'Loket' Olsson is entertaining.
   
   
3. # You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.
   
   
4. # You associate pea soup with Thursday.
   
   
5. # The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is look for the queue number machine.
   
   
6. # You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
   
   
7. # A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound 'ahh'.
   
   
8. # You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to system bolaget.
   
   
9. # You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at system bolaget.
   
   
10. # Silence is fun.
    
    
11. # Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you begin to "eat medicine" and "hire videos".
    
    
12. # Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
    
    
13. # When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
    
    1. he is drunk;
    2. he is insane;
    3. he is American;
    4. he is all of the above.
    
    
    
14. # You stay home on Saturday night to watch Bingolotto.
    
    
15. # It seems sensible that the age limit at Stockholm night clubs is 23 or 25.
    
    
16. # The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:
    
    1. duty free vodka
    2. duty free beer
    3. to party
    
    
    
17. # The only reason for getting of the boat in Helsinki is to eat pizza.
    
    
18. # It no longer seems excessive to spend $200 on alcohol in a single night.
    
    
19. # The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right.
    
    
20. # You care who wins 'Expedition: Robinson'.
    
    
21. # Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
    
    
22. # You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.
    
    
23. # You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."
    
    
24. # You are no longer scared of volvos and volvo drivers.
    
    
25. # You have your own innebandy club.
    
    
26. # You enjoy the taste of surströmming.
    
    
27. # You find yourself debating the politics of Carl Bildt.
    
    
28. # You use mmmm as a conversation filler.
    
    
29. # An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius is mild.
    
    
30. # When someone asks for "three cheers", you say "hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah".
    
    
31. # You wear sandals with socks.
    
    
32. # You eat jam with savoury dishes.
    
    
33. # You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.
    
    
34. # You think riding a racing bike in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do.
    
    
35. # You think it's more fun to stay at home and drink then go out.
    
    
36. # You wear warm clothing when it's 25 degrees plus in April - because it's April.
    
    
37. # You wear shorts and t-shirt when it's barely 10 degrees in July - because it's July.
    
    
38. # You get extremely annoyed when the bus is two minutes late.
    
    
39. # You think women are more than equal than men and deserve to have better positions in the work place.
    
    
40. # Your wife watches TV while you look after the kids.
    
    
41. # You become a punctuality freak and dump your friends for being late more than once.
    
    
42. # You spend the week's entertainment budget on a pack of cigarettes and a drink in Gamla Stan.
    
    
43. # When a stranger asks you a question in the streets, you think it's normal to just keep walking, saying nothing.
    
    
44. # You've been engaged for four years and don't have any plans to get married.
    
    
45. # Americans start to look entertaining, witty and fun, and you just want to go to the U.S.A., travelling across country on a greyhound, because it's "romantic."
    
    
46. # You and your friends know exactly the same information, and have the same attitudes and beliefs in the value of Social Democracy.
    
    
47. # You lose any artistic talent whatsoever.
    
    
48. # You think that if you smoke a joint you will wind up in an insane asylum. [or become a habitual criminal]
    
    
49. # You seriously contemplate getting into S & M.
    
    
50. # You wear a dress or skirt over your trousers and combine them with training shoes. [this is especially problematic if you're male]
    
    
51. # You jot down 'fisk fingrar' on your shopping list.
    
    
52. # You no longer look for Vegemite on supermarket shelves, even if it's your first time in that particular store.
    
    
53. # You think black rimmed glasses are cool.
    
    
54. # Your wardrobe now consists of 20 different shades of black and grey.
    
    
55. # You get excited watching a bunch of lame 'celebrities' on a fortress island playing games that are about as intelligent as mud-wrestling.
    
    
56. # You look forward to the next program about practical jokes done on lame celebrities/has-beens by other lame celebrities who don't really deserve air time.
    
    
57. # It doesn't feel like lunch unless it's a hot, full course meal drenched in gravy.
    
    
58. # You eat unlimited amounts of sausage products without worrying about your nitrate intake.
    
    
59. # You think that an unripe wedge of tomato on a limp leaf of iceberg lettuce can be called a salad.
    
    
60. # You don't question the concept of 'telephone time'.
    
    
61. # It seems reasonable that no business can be conducted on Friday afternoons. [or the entire month of July]
    
    
62. # You assume that anyone who apologises after bumping into you is a tourist.
    
    
63. # You think it is normal that a huge restaurant has a smoking section which consists of three tables near the door.
    
    
64. # You reach for your pocket 20 times a day as mobile phones ring all around you.
    
    
65. # You actually care if your mobile phone meets the fashion standard - and so do your new Swedish friends!
    
    
66. # It seems reasonable that even those asking you for money at T-centralen reach for their pocket as the melodic music of the Swedish mobile phone resounds.
    
    
67. # You get into a Mercedes taxi cab and think nothing of it.
    
    
68. # Paying $5 for a cup of coffee seems reasonable.
    
    
69. # You understand that when a colleague asks you out for "a drink," it will probably be a long night with a severe hangover the next day.
    
    
70. # You start to think that having a sauna in the nude with a bunch of strangers is a necessary part of daily life ... and a necessary part of business.
    
    
71. # You believe that when you finally win your Nobel Prize, it is best to be modest and say "Oh really, it was nothing!"
    
    
72. # You get offended if, at a dinner party, someone fails to look you in the eyes after raising their glass for a toast.
    
    
73. # Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
    
    
74. # You become extremely skilled at assembling pre-packaged furniture kits.
    
    
75. # "Candles" are a permanent fixture on your weekly shopping list.
    
    
76. # You get to the movies early so that you can watch the commercials.
    
    
77. # Most of your friends have the same names and you must use both names to distinguish between them.
    

posted by Jarmo Lindmark @ 12:32 p.m. 4 comments